Welcome Noah :)

So life has been fairly hectic the last two and a bit weeks. Our little man decided he was going to make the rules and he was going to arrive a fair bit early. On December 11th we welcomed Noah Phillip to the world! At 37 weeks I thought we would hit some hurdles as he was so early but he is perfectly fine although a little scrawny.

I never thought Motherhood would look like this, incredibly sleep deprived, covered in vomit and starving :) Sounds a lot less "amazing" than it is, but there is something about this little life sleeping on my chest that just makes me smile. It's that feeling you get when something truly amazing happens and you smile all the way from the inside out.

Our little man has always liked to keep us on our toes, from bleeding to high blood pressure, hyperemesis, breech presentation and FINALLY his arrival. At about 1am on the 10th of December I woke up with some pretty intense contractions, I passed it off as braxton hicks because it was "bearable" and also I was 37 weeks and Noah was frank breech so surely it would be nothing and would go away. I spent the next few hours in and out of the shower just leaning over the chair, telling my husband how much I hated him for everything he "did" to me. (Love him to bits but when you are in pain these things just come out!) The contractions felt just like my braxton hicks contractions only alot sharper and at the same time with pressure coming straight from the top of my uterus and pushing down. But again just passed everything off as practice contractions. 


Around 9ish/10ish on Sunday morning (11-12-11) I was laying in bed and all of a sudden I got a wave incredible pain . I felt like he was either going to break out or I was going to rip him out. I literally lay in bed flailing for about 2 minutes. Seriously can only describe it as a calf muscle cramp in my lady bits! The second it eased off I called the hospital for advice thinking they would say take a panadol and go to bed. But they asked me to come in because of the risk that if he is breech and I go into labour it will make things complicated. Hubby was at work in Mackay (an hour and a half away) with the car, so I gave him a call and he found a manager to take over. While I waited I grabbed my handbag and put it at the door and then I just bounced on the gym ball moaning my way through these horrible pains.  When he got home I grabbed him a shirt (superman!) and me a waterbottle and put a load of washing on (mostly all my maternity clothes and underwear that fit!!) and grabbed my blue book and we left for the hospital thinking i'd be home in an hour with some pain relief. 


When we got there, they popped me on the CTG machine, I breathed through some contractions and then the doctor walked in and said so your having regular contractions. I was a bit shocked as I had assumed they were BH and then she did a quick ultrasound to check Noah was still breech and indeed he was (cheeky man). Then she did an internal at my first check I was 1cm long fingertip dilated and very soft, she said she would keep me over night to just be monitored and all going well I can go home in the morning. Now I STILL didn't have any bags or anything, my mobile phone was dead, hubby was in his uniform (with a superman shirt on). Totally unorganised! 


About 2 hours later the doctor came in and did another internal. Sure enough I was 100% effaced, 2 cm dilated and feeling pressure from bubs bottom. All she said was "Okay that changes things" and said she would be back. She returned with consent forms and information about emergency csections and then I began to panic. Within the hour we were going to have our baby!!! At 7 we were wheeled into theatre, all dressed up. I got my spinal put in (Semi-painless. More just pressure and I was so stressed by this point!) and then I went completely numb from my chest down. It just felt like tingling. The doctors were all talking to each other about Christmas and Andrew was talking to me and the doctor said "okay your baby is going to be born in a minute" and I said ok let me know when you start cutting and she said " We are already in" I couldn't feel a thing! Next minute I hear a sneeze! Yep our little man didn't cry he sneezed his way into this world! Andrew got to watch him be born bottom first and then went over and cut the cord. I cried well whimpered (I was in so much shock at this point) They popped him on my chest while they sewed me up and then we were wheeled back to our room. Seriously seems like the biggest blur, 2 and a half weeks on and I am still amazed that he is here!!

Our lives are completely changed and I could not imagine a day without Noah here! 

waiting waiting waiting whoops

So I wrote this post on the 10th of December while in labour (and didn't realise) and forgot to post it :)

The past nine months have been all about patience. Whether it's exercising patience in the doctors waiting room, or with peoples attitudes or even with our cheeky little man. Patience has been key.
Now at almost 38 weeks pregnant and giving birth in 10 days I feel like every day, hour and minute is dragging on. I get excited when I sleep for 5 hours straight as it feels like someone has temporarily hit the fast forward button! Andrew has been doing a fair bit of over time and between that and the rain he has been taking my car to work everyday so I can't even go and shop to waste some time.
Instead I sit down, put my feet up and think about how crazy my life is about to become!
I cannot imagine in ten days from now officially being a mum, I cannot imagine having a tiny little baby to feed, to cuddle, to love.
I am totally overwhelmed with excitement and fear. I feel like I have an endless list of things I want to get done although majority of these are impossible (Imagine a 38 week pregnant me, trying to mow the lawn in this heat!)
There is this big buzz around the arrival of babies, a lot of the other mums in our December group have already given birth and it's truly incredible how we all support each other and how excited we all get at the hint of labour! Now although I really am not a fan of being pregnant this is really the most incredible time in my life. Such an incredible blessing and I am amazed at every little thing my body is doing and every little thing my baby is doing.

At our last appointment they did a scan to check presentation. Bub is still bottom down, head up with his legs in front (Frank breech) and spine against spine. Not the most comfortable position for either of us. The scan we had also took measurements of his head circumference, belly, legs and gives us an estimate on weight. At 36 weeks he was roughly weighing 2.8kg and his head was measuring 34 cms which is in the 94th percentile and his belly was tiny and only in the 34th percentile, legs were spot on.
Because our hospital and the two local (2 hours and 5 hours away) don't do breech deliveries our only option is to have a caesarian section. We are all booked in and will be having our little one in ten days!!!!

Crazy Little Thing Called The After Party Part Two

We had our reception at a local hall in Narangba, It was a really random hall but it fit our budget and we could dress it up how we like. We hired a friend of ours to help set up on our big day and he spent hours putting all the details exactly where I had wanted them. I decided I wanted a few hundred tissue paper poms to line the tables and back of chairs so a few months prior to our wedding we started making them, hundreds and hundreds of them! (never again!!) 

Although all the little details seemed to fade into the background on the day of our wedding, I still look back and think wow. It was such a beautiful day and I couldn't dream of anything more!

As part of our reception entertainment we hired a photobooth (www.getaphotobooth.com.au) Hamish was incredible, He got all our guests involved and got them to sign the guest book next to the photos that were printed from the photobooth! It was truly an incredible night! 

Crazy Little Thing Called Growing Up While Growing Out

One of the weirdest things I have ever experienced in my life is our baby moving. It brings so much emotion, sometimes pain, sometimes relief, sometimes joy, sometimes excitement, sometimes fear.
A few days ago I awoke to my husband snoring while cuddling my belly. He had a hand of either side and was fast asleep, our little man on the other hand was wide awake and kicking my guts. I just savoured this moment for a little while thinking about how on earth we came to get here and then poked my husband to stop him snoring!

We are a very blessed little family! Somedays it is so easy to forget it, somedays it's so easy to get caught up in who's turn it is to do the dishes, why on earth we have a bird when it just sits outside all day,  all the aches and pains of life but when you sit back and really think about it we are so incredibly blessed.
You see the blessings in the little things, having a water fight in the backyard, watching your husband hang the baby clothes on the line, conversations about the hopes and dreams you have for your lives together and your children's lives. And you realise that everything that matters in the world is in your house.

I think marriage and pregnancy have really altered my view on life. I used to have this on going argument with my mother that adults just aren't as "in tune" with the world like kids are and in some respects they really aren't. I can admit that being part adult/part child. But what I failed to realise as a kid having this argument that adults may not see the world in a child's eyes but that is because they have to be adults. Although my mum was a stay home mum the entire time I was growing up she worked harder than anyone I know. Having my own child makes me realise how far my mother would go for us, how much she fought for us and what she did and does give up for us.
I never truly appreciated what my mum did and I don't think I will fully appreciate her until our little man is here and I am finally a mum.

We have a growth scan tomorrow to check on how our little man is doing. Although it feels like he is taking over my entire body! When I wake up in the morning and see myself in the mirror it is truly a shock to the system. After working so hard to get my body to the size I wanted it, earlier in the year, I am now the size of a whale and feeling pretty horrible. Pregnancy is not nearly as "beautiful" as it appears from the outside. Granted what my body is doing is a incredible thing, you don't really get the chance to grow a baby everyday. Sometimes I look at my now almost watermelon sized stomach and think theres a little child in there, a baby with a face, a smile, two arms, two legs and a belly that's going to send us broke when he's a teenager :) It is really incredible and although I would love to be able to breathe again, or maybe not have to go to the bathroom quite so often I am so glad he is growing but so glad we only carry them for 9 months!

Crazy Little Thing Called The After Party

It's really incredible going through our wedding and remember all the little things that made our wedding truly amazing. All the beautiful people who helped make our day special. My husband had his three brothers, Peter, Brad and Josh as his groomsmen and I had my sisters Gemma and Emmily and my friend Annaliese as my bridesmaids. After our ceremony we headed off to North Pine Country markets for our wedding photos. A few weeks before our wedding my husband and I went to the markets for a date and were in awe of the incredible fig trees, we spent our date searching for places to have our wedding photos taken and even took a little moment to dance together. We may have looked silly but I will never forget that moment! 

My girls were truly amazing! From carrying my train for me, making sure I was fed and making me laugh when I was just getting too tired! 

My husbands brothers (My new brother in laws!) we really awesome on the day, and really good sports when I wanted a million photos and a million smiles to match! 

I hope I get to walk holding my husbands hand for the rest of my life. He is truly the best partner anyone could ask for. 

We decided to reenact our previous date dance. And again we felt so silly but it was a beautiful moment! 

Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage

Andrew and I were married on the 19th June 2011 in what I can only describe as the best day of my life.
I am a big stress freak and the days leading up until our wedding I stressed over every little detail of our wedding. I went to the florist daily, sent lengthy emails to the photographer, I even emailed the cake decorator about my nightmare about having a miniature sized cake and just wanted to make sure she knew I wanted a life size cake! 

On the day of our wedding I was so nervous and so excited. At every moment of the day I was either giggling or crying. The night before our wedding I stayed at my mums house and had a "slumber party" with my youngest sister. We stayed up and watched Doctor who until the wee hours of the morning and just chatted about life with the odd "ohmygoodness! Your getting married tomorrow" Oh and we nearly consumed and entire tin of milo that night! 

In the morning the hairdresser, a good friend of my mums arrived and started doing our hair. Not long after the make up artist arrived with a hilarious story of how her car broke down, just down the road because she was early so she waited down the road with her lights on (something I would do!!) It was too funny! My Dad saved the day by charger her battery while we got all pretty! :)
Lillia my niece (1 1/2) was incredibly amusing and kept as all entertained! I believe she only posed for one photo with the hair clip in her hair and then swiftly ripped it out but she was incredibly cute! 

In what felt like minutes (in reality hours of getting ready!) the limo driver, Murray arrived to take us to the church! The hysterical crying almost started but Murray swiftly stepped in and kept my emotions in check by playing the "going to the chapel" song. I will never forget sitting in the back of the limo for those last few moments alone as an unmarried woman. Before you knew it the limo was filled with my parents, my bridesmaids (two of my sisters and my friend annaliese) and my brother and our exchange student michiru! And off we went to meet everyone at the church! 

By the time we arrived at the church I was well and truly panicking! My sister and Dad were trying to calm me down. The last few things I was told before my walk down the aisle "Breathe and walk slowly." Neither of which I did :)

I bolted down the aisle, I didn't breathe the entire time, I couldn't hear a thing. I have no idea who was there and for those for seconds all I could think about was getting up there with my husband! We had a friend and his string quartet play "All I want is you"by U2. Although I don't remember it being played, after watching our wedding video it was definitely played and it was amazing :)

Now for the next half hour whilst my grandfather married us I don't remember much. I remember squeezing my husbands hand, refusing to look at him because I knew that if I looked him in the eye I would cry. I remember listening to my husband say his vows, I remember saying my vows. I remember turning around to hear my youngest brother read out a bible verse and catching a glimpse of my gorgeous bridesmaids standing there behind me. I remember catching quick glances at my parents watching us get married. I remember singing a hymn and wishing I could tell my grandpa his microphone was on so his singing was incredibly loud in comparison to everyone else. I remember trying to hold back giggles and squeezing my husbands hand when he started to chuckle. I remember our first kiss as husband and wife and wishing that we could just jump in the limo and ride off into the sunset so we could just chat enjoy each others company. 

Crazy Little Thing Called Reality.

It's been a little while since i've written, I'm not very good at this "blog" stuff.
We had a lot going on in the past two months (wow!) Firstly we moved from Brisbane to Mackay
and have settled in to our home fairly quickly. We live on a golf resort about an hour north of mackay
in a beautiful glass house. I have never lived somewhere so beautiful and so relaxing. The resort has a beautiful pool with a swim up bar that make spiders (Ice-cream and soda!) We got a chance when we first moved in to explore the Lodge that is behind our house. It's a large hotel that was shut down awhile ago and it is unbelievable. It's one of those strange beauties, a beautiful 5 star hotel that has just been forgotten and over grown. A truly incredible sight.

Andrew has settled into work pretty well although the commute gets a bit frustrating at times especially with early morning starts but that will all be better in a few weeks when they get a breakfast manager. They definitely have a very different working environment up here, much more relaxed in comparison to brisbane stores. Hopefully over the next few years we can see the stores improve by leaps and bounds. Andrew works incredibly hard for our little family and is constantly making me fall more and more in love with him (if that's possible!!)

On the baby front our little one is now 31 weeks gestation and doing well. Last tuesday I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia (also known as pregnancy induced hypertension or toxemia) It is where a pregnant woman starts having high blood pressure and protein from the kidneys is spilling into the urine. Although my blood pressure isn't consistently in the pre-eclamptic range of 140/90+ I usually sits around 130/85 and occasionally goes above 140/90. During pre-pregnancy and early pregnancy it was around 90/65 so this is definitely a very different world for my poor heart. I started noticing a big change in how my body was coping about a month ago when I started getting spiraling lights in my eyes and felt generally unwell and out of breathe. A quick pop up to the hospital and on the CTG and bubs was doing okay so they left it for the time being. At my next appointment they decided to do a urinalysis and bloods which showed very high levels of protein in my urine and other issues with my liver and kidneys and again back on bed rest. This time a little more strict, I need to be on my left side laying down as much as possible and only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom or shower. The strain that pre-eclampsia has on my body means that we will be meeting our little man at some point in 2011. I'm a little bit sad that I won't have that chance to wait for labour to come on, my waters to break, watching my husband panic while packing the car. At the moment they are aiming for 40 weeks so our little man will arrive on 28/12/2011 but first step is getting to 37 weeks with no changes to my blood pressure and protein count and then we can keep moving forward to 40 weeks. Otherwise we could have him as soon as the end of November which is only a month away! Luckily we got everything organised for his arrival as soon as we moved in, so the nursery is set up, his clothes are washed and folded, the change table is all stocked and ready for a little bottom. We have an abundance of penguin toys and little blue jumpsuits and the letters of his name hanging over his cot, all ready for our little man. :)

I am meant to be flying to Brisbane in three weeks to visit family, although at the current moment that doesn't seem like a possibility but we will see! I really miss my family and have yet to meet my niece who is now over a month old!

Although I doubt anyone actually read these it's nice to be able to put what i'm feeling, what we've been doing in writing. It makes me see the bigger picture and realise I have come so far and I can be strong just for a little bit longer.

Our little man at 26/27 Weeks. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen in the world! 

Crazy Little Thing Called Love Letters

I love, love letters. Maybe not the mushy type but the letters that really speak from the heart. Whether it be an apology from your little brother or even a thank you from your husband. I think letters hold a lot more meaning than a text or an email.

To my dearest son,
I haven't had the opportunity to really meet you yet, and you've probably had
a better chance to get to know me than I have you. Yes i'm addicted to caffeine
and sometimes I could go a few days of only eating fairy bread but i'm deep down
hoping that you too will learn to love the things that I love.
Sometimes I feel you bopping away to the music usually waka waka by Shakira but
I won't hold that against you it's a pretty fun beat. Sometimes I think that if I just
hold my hand against my belly that you'll reach your hand out too and we can just
for a moment meet in the middle.
Your daddy and I are very excited to meet you but we aren't quite ready yet and I
think you might enjoy being on the inside just awhile longer. So maybe nights like
last night where you decided you wanted to say hello might have to wait but I promise
once your ready to come out we will be with you every day and every night.
You are the most incredible thing to have ever happened to either of us and I am
everyday in awe of your ability to just grow. You are my little man and I am
so excited to meet you :)

I will love you forever and always.
Love from your Mum :)

Crazy Little Thing Called Moolah

Okay, okay... I don't think anyone would ever say money is a little thing. It should be, It should be the least of our worries but it never is.
Finances is one of the most common reasons for couples fighting and can get out of hand incredibly quickly. I was never one to worry about finances, I love to spend money but I also loved to work. About a month before our wedding I was forced to leave my job as I was so sick from the pregnancy. With the stress of the upcoming wedding, I definitely wasn't prepared for the financial strain of not having a job as well. My husband and I were living in two separate houses and paying two lots of rent, wedding bills and then all my medical bills on top of that. We very quickly got ourselves into debt and definitely have no means of gettings out of it, in the near future.

I can't say that my husband and I really fight about finances, we don't really fight about much at all but it is definitely a big stress in our lives. When we should be excited about the baby and about the beginning of our new lives, we are more concerned about whether we can afford to buy groceries or which car has more petrol so we can get that last trip to work before pay day. It's been the cause of many tears and tantrums over the past few months.

It has just felt like one thing after the other lately but today we got some much better news. With the contract signed for my husbands promotion and all the details for moving to Mackay. It all seems really good at the moment, I know the next bill is around the corner but for tonight I will sip on my Fronti (non-alcoholic wine) and eat some chocolate and embrace this blessing :)

Crazy Little Thing Called The Person Behind The Belly.

Most of my friends and family all call me or message me to remind me to update them on my growing belly. There is this great excitement when someone gets pregnant, it is truly an amazing thing. But whats behind the belly? Some ladies are lucky enough to have totally blissful pregnancies, the pregnancy "glow". I have definitely missed all the luck with this one!! But funnily, if you ask a single one of those people who want to rub your belly, can you stand here and hold my hair back while I vomit, hold me while I cry because i've had the tenth tear and I am so scared about losing my baby or could you bring over dinners because i'm back on bed rest. They suddenly don't have time, or just plain don't bother coming over anymore. When things get a little bit tough people run for the hills.

It's all been very exciting but incredibly stressful. I have hyperemsis gravidarum which is simple terms means really sucky morning sickness. I have 8mg of Zofran three times a day and have still ended up in hospital 7 times with dehydration. It is incredibly draining and not many people understand the extreme toll it has on your body. I had a doctor explain HG (Hyperemsis) as long term food poisoning. We found out we were expecting as I was admitted to hospital for severe vomiting and at that stage I was 5 weeks pregnant and it had already started!! Now at 20 weeks it's still going strong!!

At around 8 weeks I started bleeding after a shopping trip with my mum. We got home and I just broke down. My mum held me while I cried, tried to calm me until my husband could pick me up and take me to the hospital. After hours of waiting and waiting the doctor sent me home with "go home, rest and wait and see." If I wasn't so incredibly exhausted I could've screamed at her, This is a life inside me and your telling me all I can do is wait and see! I booked in for a scan a few days later to see if we still had some hope, and there he was. My beautiful baby still hanging in there. I called my husband and my mum straight away to give them the good news, he was perfect!
At 12 weeks I had another bleed, and another and another until I was put on bed rest. By week 17 It seemed under control and then on Monday we had another big bleed after doing some housework. I saw my GP and was put back on bed rest. He is concerned that I will go into pre-term labour and has advised that the next 6 weeks we take it really easy. At 26 weeks there is a greater chance of the preemie baby surviving. When he told me this reality really hit. This next 6 weeks are crucial in our babies development and i'm hoping he will stay strong.

There are some truly beautiful moments in pregnancy and our pregnancy hasn't been all sadness and tears. Finding out we were having a boy was amazing, it's an indescribable feeling and totally boosts your bond with your baby. My husband and I choosing his name (It's a secret!!) wondering around spotlight and discussing our options and we just came across this name which was perfect! The first time I felt him kick and now every time he kicks he reminds me of what i'm here to do, my entire purpose in life. He is the most incredible thing to ever happen to myself or my husband and he isn't even here yet!

Here is a little pic of our little man at 18 weeks. He doesn't like being poked by the probe so it was incredibly hard to get some great shots.