It could've been worse

Three things I say alot now that i'm a mum

It's just so hard

It could've been worse 

But he's so damn cute

I say these three lines so much but it really became clear today when we lost power.
It was just so hard without the power- Now as a mum things become alot harder and who ever tries to convince you otherwise either had a tribe to help bring up their kids or hasn't had kids. It is HARD! It is hard emotionally and physically. Having a child in mentally draining- Instead of thinking about just you or just you and your husband, you are now solely responsible for a living being and not just any living being a completely helpless one. When we lost power today so much went through my head.
How do I boil water? How do I do the washing? How do I give my baby a warm shower (Gas hot water that needs electricity to start it!) What do I do if my phone charge runs out? How do I keep my child cool? A million things ran through my head, but prior to Noah the only thing about losing power that bothered me was the inability to go on Facebook.

It could've been worse- And it could have.
It could've been hotter, It could've been raining, It could've been the middle of the night, Andrew could've been at work. Alot of "could haves"run through my mind.
Again another mummy thing- Once I had Noah I worry about what could have happened. Not the nicest thing to dwell on! As a human being we all make mistakes but I have REALLY noticed them now that i'm a mum. If you burnt your own mouth you would say "ouch that was stupid" and move on. If you burn your babies mouth you cry, you critique yourself, you feel like your baby will never forgive you.. Must admit I haven't burnt my babies mouth. But I buckled his belly into the car seat OUCH! I have forgotten to put insect repellent on and we are both now walking around with mosquito hickies. I have done many things that ordinarily you wouldn't blink an eyelid to but when it's your child It seems like the worst thing in the world. Every person I saw today I would have to announce that the bites were mosquitos and yes I am stupid for going walking at sunset!
Sometimes It could have been worse is a good thing- Helps you realise you are doing the right thing.

BUT he's so damn cute! Oh boy!! This kid knows how to make his mummy so happy!
We went shopping and he smiled at everyone walking by- Strangely that makes me so proud. My baby is so happy and it feels AMAZING!! So regardless of how much I worry, how much I stress about how he is doing developmentally- He can smile and that smile means more to me than any grasp reflex :)

Anyways as I was writing this the power went out for another hour *fun* but seems to be back for now :)

xx