A little blog about all things crazy in my crazy little world.

Monday 29 August 2011

Crazy Little Thing Called Love Letters

I love, love letters. Maybe not the mushy type but the letters that really speak from the heart. Whether it be an apology from your little brother or even a thank you from your husband. I think letters hold a lot more meaning than a text or an email.

To my dearest son,
I haven't had the opportunity to really meet you yet, and you've probably had
a better chance to get to know me than I have you. Yes i'm addicted to caffeine
and sometimes I could go a few days of only eating fairy bread but i'm deep down
hoping that you too will learn to love the things that I love.
Sometimes I feel you bopping away to the music usually waka waka by Shakira but
I won't hold that against you it's a pretty fun beat. Sometimes I think that if I just
hold my hand against my belly that you'll reach your hand out too and we can just
for a moment meet in the middle.
Your daddy and I are very excited to meet you but we aren't quite ready yet and I
think you might enjoy being on the inside just awhile longer. So maybe nights like
last night where you decided you wanted to say hello might have to wait but I promise
once your ready to come out we will be with you every day and every night.
You are the most incredible thing to have ever happened to either of us and I am
everyday in awe of your ability to just grow. You are my little man and I am
so excited to meet you :)

I will love you forever and always.
Love from your Mum :)

Friday 12 August 2011

Crazy Little Thing Called Moolah

Okay, okay... I don't think anyone would ever say money is a little thing. It should be, It should be the least of our worries but it never is.
Finances is one of the most common reasons for couples fighting and can get out of hand incredibly quickly. I was never one to worry about finances, I love to spend money but I also loved to work. About a month before our wedding I was forced to leave my job as I was so sick from the pregnancy. With the stress of the upcoming wedding, I definitely wasn't prepared for the financial strain of not having a job as well. My husband and I were living in two separate houses and paying two lots of rent, wedding bills and then all my medical bills on top of that. We very quickly got ourselves into debt and definitely have no means of gettings out of it, in the near future.

I can't say that my husband and I really fight about finances, we don't really fight about much at all but it is definitely a big stress in our lives. When we should be excited about the baby and about the beginning of our new lives, we are more concerned about whether we can afford to buy groceries or which car has more petrol so we can get that last trip to work before pay day. It's been the cause of many tears and tantrums over the past few months.

It has just felt like one thing after the other lately but today we got some much better news. With the contract signed for my husbands promotion and all the details for moving to Mackay. It all seems really good at the moment, I know the next bill is around the corner but for tonight I will sip on my Fronti (non-alcoholic wine) and eat some chocolate and embrace this blessing :)




Thursday 11 August 2011

Crazy Little Thing Called The Person Behind The Belly.

Most of my friends and family all call me or message me to remind me to update them on my growing belly. There is this great excitement when someone gets pregnant, it is truly an amazing thing. But whats behind the belly? Some ladies are lucky enough to have totally blissful pregnancies, the pregnancy "glow". I have definitely missed all the luck with this one!! But funnily, if you ask a single one of those people who want to rub your belly, can you stand here and hold my hair back while I vomit, hold me while I cry because i've had the tenth tear and I am so scared about losing my baby or could you bring over dinners because i'm back on bed rest. They suddenly don't have time, or just plain don't bother coming over anymore. When things get a little bit tough people run for the hills.

It's all been very exciting but incredibly stressful. I have hyperemsis gravidarum which is simple terms means really sucky morning sickness. I have 8mg of Zofran three times a day and have still ended up in hospital 7 times with dehydration. It is incredibly draining and not many people understand the extreme toll it has on your body. I had a doctor explain HG (Hyperemsis) as long term food poisoning. We found out we were expecting as I was admitted to hospital for severe vomiting and at that stage I was 5 weeks pregnant and it had already started!! Now at 20 weeks it's still going strong!!

At around 8 weeks I started bleeding after a shopping trip with my mum. We got home and I just broke down. My mum held me while I cried, tried to calm me until my husband could pick me up and take me to the hospital. After hours of waiting and waiting the doctor sent me home with "go home, rest and wait and see." If I wasn't so incredibly exhausted I could've screamed at her, This is a life inside me and your telling me all I can do is wait and see! I booked in for a scan a few days later to see if we still had some hope, and there he was. My beautiful baby still hanging in there. I called my husband and my mum straight away to give them the good news, he was perfect!
At 12 weeks I had another bleed, and another and another until I was put on bed rest. By week 17 It seemed under control and then on Monday we had another big bleed after doing some housework. I saw my GP and was put back on bed rest. He is concerned that I will go into pre-term labour and has advised that the next 6 weeks we take it really easy. At 26 weeks there is a greater chance of the preemie baby surviving. When he told me this reality really hit. This next 6 weeks are crucial in our babies development and i'm hoping he will stay strong.

There are some truly beautiful moments in pregnancy and our pregnancy hasn't been all sadness and tears. Finding out we were having a boy was amazing, it's an indescribable feeling and totally boosts your bond with your baby. My husband and I choosing his name (It's a secret!!) wondering around spotlight and discussing our options and we just came across this name which was perfect! The first time I felt him kick and now every time he kicks he reminds me of what i'm here to do, my entire purpose in life. He is the most incredible thing to ever happen to myself or my husband and he isn't even here yet!

Here is a little pic of our little man at 18 weeks. He doesn't like being poked by the probe so it was incredibly hard to get some great shots.